Even the most straightforward dating profiles provide room for you to describe yourself and the type of person you’re looking for online.
This is a critical aspect of the profile. It’s your one and only chance to share your unique perspective and express your deepest desires and motivations. Your internet profile can make or break your chances of success depending on how you present yourself, what aspects of your personality you highlight, and the words and phrases you employ.
Here, we’ll show you how to write a profile that gets you messages from compatible individuals and speeds up your search for a romantic partner.
Don’t forget that everything you put on your profile will appear far more significant than it actually is. You are a complex individual who carries several names, traits, and preferences. When you meet someone, they get to know the full you; no one characteristic stands out more than the others. What you put on your profile is all that other people will see, and it will fully shape their impression of you.
Men who consume meat may misinterpret your declaration of vegetarianism as an indication of disinterest in dating a vegetarian. Why, after all, did you choose to highlight your eating habits rather than, say, your interest in reading thrillers or watching CNN? Liberals will assume that you are solely interested in meeting people who share your belief in limited government if you identify as a conservative.
If your readers don’t know anything else about you, they will focus solely on your profile and form their impressions based on that.
That means you need to make a decision about what details of your life you want to highlight before you even start filling in the blanks, and what details you want to hold back and sneak into the conversation on the first date.
It’s important to emphasize the fact that you have a child at home, that you have a disability, or that you devote nearly all of your free time to taking care of an elderly parent. You shouldn’t try to hide the parts of your life that you can’t change from your profile. In this approach, your profile can act as both a net to draw in sexy singles and a screen to filter out those you have no interest in getting to know. It’s essential to be upfront with anyone who isn’t interested in taking on the role of a substitute parent because it is part of the job description.
However, it can be more challenging to decide which additional attributes to include in your self-description. A few hundred words may not seem like much when providing a sense of who you are to possible dates, but at least it keeps things brief.
An adequate description may be written quickly by following simple rules: give only the most pertinent details, focus on your most distinguishing characteristics, and leave readers wanting to learn more.
The most straightforward format you can employ consists of just three brief paragraphs. Work, the primary focus of most people’s lives, will be discussed in the first paragraph, followed by your hobbies and interests in the second, and finally, your character traits in the third.
Type 1 Personality Description:
I’m a tax attorney by day, but I try to keep work conversations to a minimum outside the office. Only a select few have permitted me to do this. It’s not as dull as it seems; there are occasions when I find myself wide awake at my desk. On a first date, I won’t bring up work (unless you want to).
Thankfully, I don’t have the luxury of considering my job a hobby. Sailing is a fun activity I do in my spare time. On the weekends, I head out on my fifteen-foot boat and cruise the sound. There’s enough space for two people (and sails) and breathtaking city views from the water. We could set up a trip for you on a slow, extremely crowded boat to China if you’ve ever had such a desire.
For whatever reason, I find humor in a wide variety of sources. I still find Tom and Jerry hilarious, but Groucho Marx, the Economist’s captions, and even Section 342(c) of the Internal Revenue Code are all great sources of amusement. That one literally made me snort milk. I am a really jovial person who also enjoys helping others and listening to them. I may be considerate, enthusiastic, shy, sensitive, and outspoken, but always in a constructive manner.
That’s a great example of how to describe oneself effectively.
In the first paragraph, you’ve already answered the inquiry most individuals have for new acquaintances: “What do you do?”
Describing your occupation is a simple method to introduce yourself and get the conversation going; you don’t need to go into great detail, and doing so is rarely a smart idea. It would be best if you also shared how you feel about your current employment (remember, nobody will recognize you, so there is no risk that your manager will read it and force you to change your description to ‘unemployed’). But you should keep your optimism; nobody loves to be with a negative Nancy. For example, “Right now, I’m working in sanitation, so I’d be a liar if I didn’t say my job stinks. It does. But it’s fine until I finish medical school and can start treating sick people. (I promise to wash my hands first.)” If you have nothing good to say about your job or don’t have one at all, then it’s best to say nothing and talk about the job you’d like to have.
Choose the one thing you do in your spare time that takes up the most space in the second paragraph. It makes no difference what form this endeavor may take. Favorite sports, preferred hiking spots, or favorite cafes to while away an afternoon with a good book are all nice and straightforward choices for this paragraph.
Honesty is required. Don’t pretend your nights, weekends, and holidays aren’t spent watching I Love Lucy reruns or taking your son to the zoo. It’s fair game to bring up, brag about, or make light of. But if you feel ashamed that watching the Playboy channel takes up so much of your free time, you can always go for the second most time-consuming pastime.
If you remember one thing from this section, make it this: be as explicit as you can. Rather than stating simply, “I like reading,” try, “I like reading the early novels of Zhang Ailing—she’s a bit maudlin, but I just love her introspection.” Or, “I like to spend Saturdays hiking,” try, “On Saturdays, I tend to head up around Los Olivos, taste a bit of wine, and see if I can wear a hole in my boots.”
This model’s third paragraph is very challenging. It’s difficult to describe oneself because there are so many facets to consider. It seems artificial at best. This never occurs. You could share with them your favorite pastimes. Almost everyone knows what you do for a living because you tell them. Personality descriptions are only required for matchmaking services; otherwise, individuals form their opinions and tend to keep them to themselves.
In this situation, it’s easy to fall into the trap of starting with “Friends say that I’m…” or “I’ve been known to be…” It’s a quick fix but not that interesting or creative. About 50% of all profiles on dating sites use that cliche. Take the situation by the horns, as the saying goes.
The best method to make an excellent first impression is to talk about something humorous. Again, specificity is critical, as it covers all bases. Put down the slapstick if it makes you laugh. Write down Woody Allen if he inspires you. You’re showing your possible date that you’re the kind of person who can find humor in almost any situation and enjoys making others laugh with you.
If you need to fill in the blanks in your description, a thesaurus is a great resource for finding alternative words to use. Avoid the tired cliches that appear on practically every profile. Using the kinds of terms that others don’t use daily sets you apart as well as shows off your education.
This kind of profile is easy to put together. One alternate strategy is to use some imagination. You can condense a three-paragraph summary into just two by beginning with a broad analogy and then focusing on a particular experience that illustrates who you are:
Personality Type 2 Description:
I’ve always aspired to combine the aloof charisma of Cary Grant with the easygoing charm of Gary Cooper and the eccentric wit of Euan MacGregor. It sounds weird, but I got it right without nailing the excellent accent.
This is likely because I have never visited Scotland. However, I have traveled to Africa. I was a Peace Corps volunteer there for a year, and I helped build wells for local communities. They dragged us to more holes in the middle of nowhere and forced us to dig them. Never before have I seen so many people satisfied by something so elementary. To spend the rest of my life bringing such joy to others would make me a very contented guy indeed.
This is another straightforward example that can be replicated with little effort. Just those two notions are enough to pique one’s curiosity.
In the first paragraph, name three famous people you see in yourself or aspire to be like. That way, the reader will get a sense of not just who you are, but also who you aspire to be and the aesthetic you appreciate.
For the second paragraph, write about a seminal experience from your life. It should be the most fascinating thing you’ve ever done, so choose wisely. Find a reason to put your experience climbing Kilimanjaro on paper. Write about your experiences on an Antarctic cruise if they prompted you to reflect on your impact on the planet.
Keep in mind that anything you choose to write about will serve as a metaphor for your complete persona and leave a lasting effect on the reader, so it should be an experience that shaped who you are now.
Anyone who contacts you after reading your profile will be interested in getting to know a globally minded person, especially if you mention in it that your service in Desert Storm made you reflect on the nature of international conflict and motivate you to return to school to study international relations. If you’ve changed your mind since then, the first date will likely be underwhelming for both of you.
Describing yourself will be a breeze if you can pinpoint a defining moment in your life.
Lastly, you can write your self-description in whatever way you like by ignoring the guidelines. You may interview with yourself instead of writing a typical “About Me” section for a dating site, in which you list your achievements and interests in sequential paragraphs with clear transitions between them.
Include in your self-description the top five questions you wish the site had asked and the answers to which you already know.
My greatest-ever declaration:
When asked, “What about Zambia?”
The thing I most wish I hadn’t done:
settling on Florida as an alternate destination to Zambia.
Currently, I’m reading:
I used to be a big fan of Dr. Zhivago, but nowadays I’m starting to lean against the Russians. The Rock by Kanan Makiya, most likely.
My ideal lunch companion would be:
Gandhi. Both he and I were vegetarians. However, he didn’t eat that much, so we split the meal.
My Ideal Selves Include:
Kofi Annan, because he seems to have more power than he’s letting on and I enjoy interacting with people from different cultures.
The primary benefit of this format is that it allows you to convey more information with fewer words. You won’t have to rack your brain for paragraphs of incoherent ramblings because each answer is a single sentence. Because you’re only going to ask questions that you can answer well, this kind of model doesn’t take long to write, and the questions themselves tell just as much about you as the answers. Finally, your mini-interview will set you out as an original thought on a site full of paragraph descriptions.
Specifying the Perfect Date
The most straightforward part of writing about oneself is editing. You have some sense of self-awareness and identity at this point. It takes a different set of talents to write about someone you’ve never met.
The idea here is to craft a description that achieves three objectives:
Proves one’s ability to think outside the box;
Specify the qualities of the ideal date;
You should email anyone you’re interested in meeting.
The first is the least crucial, whereas the final is crucial.
You want to get a lot of emails right after you submit your profile. If you’re getting an overwhelming number of applications, try refining your posting to be more selective. If it does occur, you’ll likely be too busy courting to return to your profile.
If you want to write about your perfect date, you should forget about trying to describe that person in your head. The truth is that you won’t find your perfect match in real life, but you can meet a lot of wonderful people in cyberspace.
But it’s hard to give an accurate description of a group of people you’ve never met. Obviously, you can’t. Likewise, praising the qualities of others is bound to sound either too narrow or too broad. The vast majority of people have a positive self-image, thinking that they are honest, caring, and considerate. To narrow down your perfect match, all you have to do is specify that they have good listening skills. everyone.
Similar to how you might like to find someone to settle down with who shares your enthusiasm for budgies, you might be just as content with someone who doesn’t give a hoot about birds.
Instead of trying to describe a nonexistent person, focus on what you want that person to do for you or do with you instead.
My Perfect Companion:
My perfect companion would be clever, warm, and witty, equally comfortable at the San Francisco Asian Art Museum as they would be hiking through the muck on a Sequoia route. She enjoys staying in with a cup of coffee and a nice book, and she’s open to trying out new things like Yoga or an unusual form of massage, or even a strain of mushrooms you can only find at specialty stores or farmers’ markets.
The key is to describe the activities you enjoy doing in the area allotted for defining your perfect date. After all, you want to find someone willing to integrate into your daily routine and appreciate the things you value. You don’t want to meet someone who is completely incompatible with you and your interests.
Again, expressing your individuality through your desires and preferences will be appreciated. It will demonstrate your uniqueness and provide your date ideas for an enjoyable date. A well-written description of your Ideal Partner should serve as an open invitation to others who share your interests.
Inappropriate Information for Your Online Profile
Everything we’ve suggested you list about yourself in this chapter is something you genuinely enjoy doing. Say you enjoy hiking and specify your preferred trailhead. Say you’re an avid reader and give a brief synopsis of the last book you finished. Say you spend a lot of time in the kitchen and describe the type of food that makes your mouth water.
But keep quiet about the things you dislike doing.
Your profile on a dating site should always have a bright, upbeat tone. Instead of coming off as someone lonely and depressed, your profile should reflect that you are a joyful, fulfilled person who wants to be even happier and more contented. The odor of desperation is one of the most off-putting aspects of a person. Nobody wants to be a supporter of a losing team; everyone wants to be a part of the victorious one.
Stick to the fantastic things you have and the even greater things you want to have, regardless of how eager you are to find a mate, how many times you’ve been burned in the past, or how well you know what you don’t want.
A profile that mentions negative details, such as a recent divorce or a distaste for “head games,” will likely receive fewer messages. It’s a blunt statement that anyone who dates you is in for a bumpy trip because of all the baggage you’re lugging around.
Your profile ought to read like a commercial for a fulfilling existence. Like a real estate commercial, it should make the reader excited about the possibility of being accepted to your community and living with you. No one, of course, expects the advertised product or service to be exactly as described. No real estate agent will advertise that every house has dust in the attic or cobwebs in the corner.
Your profile is your chance to pitch the prospect of a happy life with you. Then, you can pick the one who ultimately closes the deal. Your new spouse will be sufficiently convinced by the time they notice the dust and cobwebs. Keep the good in and downplay the bad.
As we discussed earlier, your profile aims to attract as many potential candidates as possible, yet, you don’t want to waste their time. You don’t want to be harassed by folks who are only looking for a fling when you’re in the market for a long-term commitment. Simply excluding any and all sex-related allusions from your profile is the greatest method to filter out potential suitors you wouldn’t otherwise be interested in meeting.
That includes the handle you pick to represent yourself online.
Using your real name or a moniker that sends the wrong message is a common pitfall of online dating.
It’s easy to send the wrong message with a name like SexyAngel, Hot4U, or Randyandy.
Instead of trying to entice passing singles with a tag that says more than you want, it is much preferable to design a bland moniker with a string of unusual numbers. Changing your name is a worthwhile endeavour if you feel that it is giving off the wrong image. Never use “sex” in your profile’s description unless it is your only goal.
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